


love is a two-way street

by hwiyoung



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, who knows which it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 10:18:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11781090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwiyoung/pseuds/hwiyoung
Summary: there's more cars driving away from dawon than there are toward him.





	love is a two-way street

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SF9Prompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SF9Prompts) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Sanghyuk wants to replace Jaeseong with Inda.  
> (sanghyuk x inseong, sanghyuk wants inseong so badly)

It’s a hot day today. The sun’s glare is unforgiving, and the pavement outside sizzles in anger. Their other friends have disappeared off to somewhere (neither of them are exactly sure, nor can they be bothered to find out) so that’s why they’re both here, lying spread-eagled on the cool floor of their dorm, with their eyes closed. The only sounds come from the television’s murmurs and the air conditioner’s hum.

In this moment, Dawon wouldn’t dream of complaining, even if his head rests on the thinnest pillow known to man. Not even if the floor is the worst thing for his already aching back - because Inseong’s head is lying on his chest. His heart blooms like flowers in spring, tiny buds of hope greeting sunny days.

 

 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

 

 

Inseong hums thoughtfully at Dawon’s request. He sighs, and Dawon’s eyes open just the tiniest bit to look at him. There’s anticipation hanging in the air as Inseong’s cheeks turn pink, and his eyes flutter shut and, _oh_ , so _cute_. (The little thing in his chest beats a little quicker.) He doesn’t say anything for a few moments, but gives in to indulge the younger’s request.

 

 

“I’m in love with Jaeyoon.”

 

 

There’s a sick feeling in churning in his stomach. Winter breezes in over him, and Dawon’s heart freezes up, coming to a shuddering stop. His chest tightens, it hurts, and it’s hard to breathe from how much it aches. He wishes he could scream his lungs out, that someone could hear him - but he won’t, he’s not that kind of person to be selfish.

 

 

_Why, why, why._

 

 

He wishes so badly that Inseong was going to add a ‘just kidding!’, but really, did he expect him to say anything else? He smiles bitterly at playback of his memories - _him_ giving Inseong a backhug, _him_ pecking Inseong on the cheek, _him_ clinging onto Inseong when he’s scared, _him_ trying to make Inseong laugh. It’s always him starting it, never the elder one.

It’s never been a real two-way street. (There's more cars heading away from him, than toward him.)

Dawon’s eyes flick over to the television, still running programs neither of them are paying attention to. It all seems too bright, too fast-moving, for the slow pain that he sinks into.

 

 

“Really?”

“He’s just so… amazing. Incredible. There’s so much to love about him.”

“What about me?”

“You’re funny, Dawon-ah. But there’s lots of things to love about you too.”

 

 

It’s hard to keep his voice from trembling, but his temptation always gets the better of him. (Curiosity killed the cat after all.) The desire burns strongly enough to cough the words up, even if Inseong doesn’t take him seriously. (Has he ever? It all still hurts the same in the end.)

 

 

_So what’s the difference between us?_

 

 

Dawon’s seen the way that Inseong looks at him. Everyone has, really.

He looks at Jaeyoon like he put all the stupid stars in the night sky (but if Inseong just asked, he swears he’d bring them all back down to Earth for him), like he’s the sole reason for his happiness (oh, if he could be the reason for that smile), like Jaeyoon is his entire world.

(Dawon wishes it was him instead.)

He can’t hate either of his older friends for something trivial like this. So he turns in on himself like leaf curling up at the edges.

It was hopeless from the beginning, but Dawon just thought that maybe, just maybe… if he’d heard the words come from Inseong himself, he could get over it.

 

 

“That’s really sweet, _hyung_.”

“You think?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he'd feel the same?”

 

 

He lifts his arm up off the floor to stroke Inseong’s hair, and tries not to think too much about how, despite the heat, those five words leave him with a chunk of ice-cold nothingness in his heart.

 

 

“How could anyone not fall in love with you?”

**Author's Note:**

> i think this was supposed to be happy/crack/smut but im incapable of writing all three of those haha help


End file.
